Memorial Day. Somehow I have to come up with eloquent phrases and deep thoughts that express my respect and gratitude. What work of genius can I compose that will get me into the home run hall of fame of writers? Thinking about it last night at my apartment. Nothing. Getting ready for work and into my uniform. Nothing. Thorough truck checks on every rig. Nothing. You know, maybe it's not that big of a deal. I don't have to write anything, it won't make any difference in anyone's day anyway.
Tone. "2100, CODE 3 medical, diabetic patient unresponsive."
Lights and sirens. On scene in less than 2 minutes. BGL 28. GCS 10. My partner throws an IV into an AC. I push 25 grams of D50. 5 minutes later BGL 141, GCS 15. Refusal. Pack it up. Back to station.
It reminded me of a recent conversation in which I was finally able to put words to convictions that I have had for a long time.
Have I really ever "saved a life"? Can you really call it a successful cardiac resuscitation if it doesn't last any longer than 24 hours? Do basic stabilization efforts and a taxi ride count for more than exactly that?
One of the most dramatic treatments we administer in prehospital medicine is dextrose. One minute someone is cold, stiff, and unresponsive, the next they are up moving around and back to their fully functional self. Would they have died without the glorified sugar? Yes. Does that technically mean that my crew saved their life? I suppose. But I have a very hard time accepting that fact. Let me explain.
There are thousands of men and women in our country, walking our streets, worshiping in our churches, working in our factories, resting in peace in our cemeteries, and even lying unmarked in a sand dune, a jungle river bank, or a cold mountain side somewhere. These men and women played anywhere from center stage and front row parts to background and behind the curtain jobs. They not only protected those of us back home, but attempted to introduce freedom to individuals within cultures and countries in need of psychological resuscitation, much as we introduce dextrose into a patient with desperately low blood sugar.
I can barely even imagine some of the individual acts of valor, decisions in which one's self never played into the equation, and sacrifices of life and limb that may have ended in the death of the one making it, but also resulted in the life of another being saved from an impossible situation. Whether it was a shipmate slipping below the water at Pearl Harbor, a young boy and his sister on the Piranha Peninsula, a political prisoner north of the 38th Parallel, a brother in arms under rubble in a bunker in Dhahran, a local guide pinned down behind a sandstone wall in Baghdad, or a ally isolated in the Helmand Valley.
There is no way I can compare giving a patient a little bit of isotonic sugar water in a nice house on a safe street in a Midwest town to the the courageous efforts of those who wear a different uniform in patriotic service of their country all across the world, usually in less than desirable corners of the globe.
So from a non-descript street medic / firefigher / rescue tech, thank you to those who have served, to those who have had a hand in saving a life, both literally and figuratively. Thank you to those who have come home, those who will come home, and those who never will. We'll try to keep an eye on things until you get back.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Spelling a Four Letter Word
News flash. There is no "I" in team.
For the record, there is no "Q" in team, either.
But if you rearrange the letters, there is "MEAT" and "TAME."
OK, sorry for the rabbit trail. Or should I say, Hereford trail?
Yes, these are the ramblings of a midnight medic.
In EMS, sometimes we ask ourselves why we do what we do. That question is usually instigated by some form of intoxication. Other times we get calls that we click with our partner so synchronously that we don't have to ask what the other is doing, we just do, and the patient is better off for it.
It got me thinking. Yes, we have all heard the annoyingly cliche saying that there is no "I" in team. But we rarely think of the flip side... there is no "U" in team. It's not about me AND it's not about you. This comes more to light when you are running two person ambulance crews, but it is true in a lot of situations. In the world of emergency medicine on wheels, it isn't about me or my partner. It is us working together as a team for the patient and the community. Why do we do what we do? For them. (There is almost "them" in team, almost.) Our lives go on hold to keep them alive.
As is with anything, if a principal is true, it can be applied to any situation. So when we think of team work in the various theaters of life, the same is true. In a family unit, it isn't about any one individual, it is about the whole. A church congregation isn't about self improvement, but serving those outlined in the great commission (everyone). Our elected officials in government... oh, never mind.
For the record, there is no "Q" in team, either.
But if you rearrange the letters, there is "MEAT" and "TAME."
OK, sorry for the rabbit trail. Or should I say, Hereford trail?
Yes, these are the ramblings of a midnight medic.
In EMS, sometimes we ask ourselves why we do what we do. That question is usually instigated by some form of intoxication. Other times we get calls that we click with our partner so synchronously that we don't have to ask what the other is doing, we just do, and the patient is better off for it.
It got me thinking. Yes, we have all heard the annoyingly cliche saying that there is no "I" in team. But we rarely think of the flip side... there is no "U" in team. It's not about me AND it's not about you. This comes more to light when you are running two person ambulance crews, but it is true in a lot of situations. In the world of emergency medicine on wheels, it isn't about me or my partner. It is us working together as a team for the patient and the community. Why do we do what we do? For them. (There is almost "them" in team, almost.) Our lives go on hold to keep them alive.
As is with anything, if a principal is true, it can be applied to any situation. So when we think of team work in the various theaters of life, the same is true. In a family unit, it isn't about any one individual, it is about the whole. A church congregation isn't about self improvement, but serving those outlined in the great commission (everyone). Our elected officials in government... oh, never mind.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Flight Delays and Change
So here I am and there you go...
One of my co-workers recently made the comment, "I hate change." Can't say that I disagree with him. I have experienced change. More than some. Less than others.
The last year has been full of change. If you would categorize change as either good or bad, I would probably be fairly quick to categorize it as bad. None of it was by my choosing, or even my instigation. But that can be the nature of change. Sometimes we think we are choosing, but that can be a bit of a mirage. By all means, we choose our actions every time. You can't pull the little kid stunt and claim that "the devil made me do it." But sometimes we are mesmerized into believing that we can choose our own "destiny," if you like that term. But, if you really think about it, that may almost be like thinking we can play God. Because our "destiny" or simply where we end up in life is ultimately determined by God through the interactions of thousands and millions of people just like ourselves. From arrogance and lies and false friendships to courage and truth and true friendships. All these things, within the control of God, affects where we end up in life. These interactions are inevitable, so change is inevitable. No use being afraid of change, it is going to happen. It will hurt like crazy a lot of times, but every once in a while, at least we can hope that it will be good. You see, life's all about changing, nothing ever stays the same.
How do you measure a year? When does one chapter of your life end and the next begin? I liked the chapter I was on. I don't like the turn the story took in the next chapter. The only way to see how the book ends is to keep reading. But to keep reading is a dangerous proposition. There could be more painful chapters, more chapters that make us want to put the book down. But that's where the analogy falls apart. There isn't a pause button or a rewind button in life. Believe me, I've checked. We can't just put the book down.
Life is like an airplane flight. There are two possible destinations: One for those of us who are sanctified by the blood of Christ through repentance and faith, and one for those who are not. All of us where scheduled to land and deplane in Hell as punishment for our sins. Christ, through His death, paid the fine that we had incurred for ourselves. In doing so (and in sticking with the poorly constructed analogy), He opened a new "airline." So now we have only two possible destinations, but that is significantly better than just the one destination option, by like... a lot. As with any airline, there can be delays. Like Lazarus, he was scheduled to arrive quite a bit sooner than he did in the end. We use the term "near death experience" sometimes. Well, Lazarus didn't have a near death experience, he got the whole package. Not-all-that-similarly, I was scheduled to arrive at my destination one year ago. My flight was delayed. Miranda's was not.
One of my co-workers recently made the comment, "I hate change." Can't say that I disagree with him. I have experienced change. More than some. Less than others.
The last year has been full of change. If you would categorize change as either good or bad, I would probably be fairly quick to categorize it as bad. None of it was by my choosing, or even my instigation. But that can be the nature of change. Sometimes we think we are choosing, but that can be a bit of a mirage. By all means, we choose our actions every time. You can't pull the little kid stunt and claim that "the devil made me do it." But sometimes we are mesmerized into believing that we can choose our own "destiny," if you like that term. But, if you really think about it, that may almost be like thinking we can play God. Because our "destiny" or simply where we end up in life is ultimately determined by God through the interactions of thousands and millions of people just like ourselves. From arrogance and lies and false friendships to courage and truth and true friendships. All these things, within the control of God, affects where we end up in life. These interactions are inevitable, so change is inevitable. No use being afraid of change, it is going to happen. It will hurt like crazy a lot of times, but every once in a while, at least we can hope that it will be good. You see, life's all about changing, nothing ever stays the same.
How do you measure a year? When does one chapter of your life end and the next begin? I liked the chapter I was on. I don't like the turn the story took in the next chapter. The only way to see how the book ends is to keep reading. But to keep reading is a dangerous proposition. There could be more painful chapters, more chapters that make us want to put the book down. But that's where the analogy falls apart. There isn't a pause button or a rewind button in life. Believe me, I've checked. We can't just put the book down.
Life is like an airplane flight. There are two possible destinations: One for those of us who are sanctified by the blood of Christ through repentance and faith, and one for those who are not. All of us where scheduled to land and deplane in Hell as punishment for our sins. Christ, through His death, paid the fine that we had incurred for ourselves. In doing so (and in sticking with the poorly constructed analogy), He opened a new "airline." So now we have only two possible destinations, but that is significantly better than just the one destination option, by like... a lot. As with any airline, there can be delays. Like Lazarus, he was scheduled to arrive quite a bit sooner than he did in the end. We use the term "near death experience" sometimes. Well, Lazarus didn't have a near death experience, he got the whole package. Not-all-that-similarly, I was scheduled to arrive at my destination one year ago. My flight was delayed. Miranda's was not.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Do Not Harden Your Hearts
All of us have seen the result of a little kid, a crayon, and a dot-to-dot. Whether it was us when we were little, or a son, daughter, niece, nephew, neighbor kid, or Sunday School class. There is color on the paper and there are dots on the paper, and that is about where the connection ends. I was thinking about how to open this post, and those dot-to-dot projects came to mind. You see, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I am about to connect the dots between West River, Roger Miller, sorrow, John Wayne, Josh Thompson, Hebrews chapters 3 and 4, Johnny Cash, the condition of hearts, and classical western movies. Quite an undertaking, if you ask me. But as they say, you get your money's worth the first 15 minutes and the rest is free.
Oh boy, one paragraph, and I already need another cup of coffee.
OK, back to dot-to-dots. I think life can be like a dot-to-dot. We are trying to figure out the connection of this to that. Sometimes we try to compartmentalize and keep the dots from connecting, but inevitably, every "compartment" will always affect every other "compartment." So there we are with a crayon in our hand and things in our life end up looking like it did when 2 year old little Susie was given her first dot-to-dot.
Bad stuff happens. If we were given a pre-life briefing, that would be about all that would need to be said. It doesn't matter if it is my bad stuff or your bad stuff, because we all go through bad stuff. And my bad stuff isn't necessarily better or worse than your bad stuff, it's just different.
When bad stuff happens, especially losing someone, I think there is a phenomenon that happens. I don't know what it is officially called, but I call it John Wayne syndrome. Let me explain.
I think it is slightly more potent when you live "way out here." West River mentality. Cowboy country.
What I am talking about is the stuff of classic western movies, True Grit, 3:10 to Yuma, and the like. You know, when the hero or the main character does what he needs to do, gets the job done, catches every curve ball life or reality throws at him. The movie ends, but it isn't a happy ending, it is a real ending, a gritty ending, one where not everyone lives happily ever after because not everyone survived and everything looks different for those who did, and the cowboy rides off into the sunset... alone... again.
Songs like "Sunday Morning Sidewalk" by Johnny Cash and "Train of Life" by Roger Miller are true songs, beautiful songs, but go along with this same theme.
So, my first question goes something like, "Is this just me? Is this just a guy who likes movies and who should have been a cowboy?" I don't know how these dots connected, but somehow they did. I think I found John Wayne syndrome in scripture. And it doesn't turn out well.
I had read this passage dozens of times, I had even quizzed over it, but I hadn't made much sense of it. It's Hebrews chapters 3 & 4, specifically chapter 3 verses 7 through 15. This is where it is talking about entering God's rest.
7 So, as the Holy Spirit says:
I don't know what the Israelite's camel riding version of John Wayne was, but they had camel-riding-John-Wayne syndrome. Scripture came up with a name for it: hardened heart syndrome. What are the symptoms? Losing hope because life sucks and always will. Going through the motions until you get to be dead. Reverting back to core survival instincts. Letting faith stop at the knowledge that God exists. Feeling like you are in this alone.
Moses even got this syndrome. Look at Psalm 90.
A prayer of Moses the man of God.
Their hardened heart syndrome led to sin. Sin angers God. Sin requires punishment. Simple as that. So they weren't allowed into God's rest.
What is God's rest anyway? Well, there are a couple different ways to look at it, I think. For the Israelites, one version of God's rest was the Promised Land. A straightforward geographic location. Part of it is the simple knowledge and peace that God is taking care of us. And the New Covenant application is we don't have to work out our salvation, it is already worked out for us if we repent and believe.
So my point in this whole long drawn out connect the dots session is although it is incredibly tempting to succumb to John Wayne syndrome and ride off into the sunset alone after life happens, don't. Don't do it. Why? Because that attitude opens us up to sin's deceitfulness and sin's deceitfulness is incompatible with God's rest. And by the way, God's rest is a good thing.
Hour number three, cup of coffee number three.
Oh boy, one paragraph, and I already need another cup of coffee.
OK, back to dot-to-dots. I think life can be like a dot-to-dot. We are trying to figure out the connection of this to that. Sometimes we try to compartmentalize and keep the dots from connecting, but inevitably, every "compartment" will always affect every other "compartment." So there we are with a crayon in our hand and things in our life end up looking like it did when 2 year old little Susie was given her first dot-to-dot.
Bad stuff happens. If we were given a pre-life briefing, that would be about all that would need to be said. It doesn't matter if it is my bad stuff or your bad stuff, because we all go through bad stuff. And my bad stuff isn't necessarily better or worse than your bad stuff, it's just different.
When bad stuff happens, especially losing someone, I think there is a phenomenon that happens. I don't know what it is officially called, but I call it John Wayne syndrome. Let me explain.
I think it is slightly more potent when you live "way out here." West River mentality. Cowboy country.
What I am talking about is the stuff of classic western movies, True Grit, 3:10 to Yuma, and the like. You know, when the hero or the main character does what he needs to do, gets the job done, catches every curve ball life or reality throws at him. The movie ends, but it isn't a happy ending, it is a real ending, a gritty ending, one where not everyone lives happily ever after because not everyone survived and everything looks different for those who did, and the cowboy rides off into the sunset... alone... again.
Songs like "Sunday Morning Sidewalk" by Johnny Cash and "Train of Life" by Roger Miller are true songs, beautiful songs, but go along with this same theme.
So, my first question goes something like, "Is this just me? Is this just a guy who likes movies and who should have been a cowboy?" I don't know how these dots connected, but somehow they did. I think I found John Wayne syndrome in scripture. And it doesn't turn out well.
I had read this passage dozens of times, I had even quizzed over it, but I hadn't made much sense of it. It's Hebrews chapters 3 & 4, specifically chapter 3 verses 7 through 15. This is where it is talking about entering God's rest.
7 So, as the Holy Spirit says:
“Today, if you hear his voice,
8 do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
during the time of testing in the wilderness,
9 where your ancestors tested and tried me,
though for forty years they saw what I did.
10 That is why I was angry with that generation;
I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray,
and they have not known my ways.’
11 So I declared on oath in my anger,
‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ”
8 do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
during the time of testing in the wilderness,
9 where your ancestors tested and tried me,
though for forty years they saw what I did.
10 That is why I was angry with that generation;
I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray,
and they have not known my ways.’
11 So I declared on oath in my anger,
‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ”
12 See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. 14 We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end. 15As has just been said:
“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion.” (Hebrews 3:7-15 NIV)do not harden your hearts
We know a little bit about how things went for the Israelites in the desert. They got through the Red Sea, they whined, God fixed it, they were happy, they whined, God fixed it, so on and so forth. We are usually pretty quick to judge the Israelites and think they are a bunch of blind, lazy, ungrateful idolaters. But think about it. Put yourself in their shoes. You wake up in the morning for what? To walk in the desert until bed time. And guess what you get to do the next day? You got it! The same thing! Sometimes you had food, but even then, it is the same thing every day. But that's not all, your parents end up dead, your friends end up dead, your aunts and uncles end up dead. I sorry, but that sounds like it sucked. Bad stuff happened.
I don't know what the Israelite's camel riding version of John Wayne was, but they had camel-riding-John-Wayne syndrome. Scripture came up with a name for it: hardened heart syndrome. What are the symptoms? Losing hope because life sucks and always will. Going through the motions until you get to be dead. Reverting back to core survival instincts. Letting faith stop at the knowledge that God exists. Feeling like you are in this alone.
Moses even got this syndrome. Look at Psalm 90.
A prayer of Moses the man of God.
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the whole world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the whole world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
3 You turn people back to dust,
saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
4 A thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
5 Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
they are like the new grass of the morning:
6 In the morning it springs up new,
but by evening it is dry and withered.
saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
4 A thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
5 Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
they are like the new grass of the morning:
6 In the morning it springs up new,
but by evening it is dry and withered.
7 We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.
10 Our days may come to seventy years,
or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 If only we knew the power of your anger!
Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.
12 Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.
10 Our days may come to seventy years,
or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 If only we knew the power of your anger!
Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.
12 Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
13 Relent, LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands. (Psalm 90 NIV)
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands. (Psalm 90 NIV)
Their hardened heart syndrome led to sin. Sin angers God. Sin requires punishment. Simple as that. So they weren't allowed into God's rest.
What is God's rest anyway? Well, there are a couple different ways to look at it, I think. For the Israelites, one version of God's rest was the Promised Land. A straightforward geographic location. Part of it is the simple knowledge and peace that God is taking care of us. And the New Covenant application is we don't have to work out our salvation, it is already worked out for us if we repent and believe.
So my point in this whole long drawn out connect the dots session is although it is incredibly tempting to succumb to John Wayne syndrome and ride off into the sunset alone after life happens, don't. Don't do it. Why? Because that attitude opens us up to sin's deceitfulness and sin's deceitfulness is incompatible with God's rest. And by the way, God's rest is a good thing.
Hour number three, cup of coffee number three.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Brokenness
Student Lead Chapel 02-16-12 Annie Kee from MNU Chapel on Vimeo.
My sister in Christ being used powerfully by God.
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